Friday, October 21, 2011

The Bridge...



On September the 6th, I got into my car, drove to work, almost forgot about the previous day’s events. On this day I was scheduled to conduct training at the Johannesburg office. Giving training is not my primary function at the company I work for, but it does form part of my job description. Like a dream I started the training day, and like a nightmare I heard my cell phone ring. Strange, since normally I would not take the phone call while busy at work, but then all of a sudden I remembered the previous day’s events. I recognized the area code and decided to step out of the office and take the call. It was my Doctor…

Yes, your medical results show that you have Multiple Sclerosis.

Funny, how calm I stayed when I heard the news. I remember walking past someone’s desk and grabbed a pen and paper. I started writing down every word the Doctor was saying. Well, I thought I was writing everything down until only later I looked at the paper and realized it was a black pen ink mess. The only thing I could make out was the two words M and S and an attempt at the word “disease modification treatment”

I called my boss aside, and broke the news to him. I went upstairs to my colleague and broke the news to her. I then asked for help with training for the rest of the day, and that the schedule gets re-done since I will be off work for the next 12 days. My boss helped, my colleague helped, I decided that this would not be my secret to carry. But I also decided that I just don’t feel up to it to explain what MS is right now to anyone apart from my boss and colleague.

The support was amazing. I wrapped up everything within an hour from finding out my fate, and left the office. I drove home, thinking. I was not sad, yes, I was not happy, but I was OK. All of a sudden I felt lighter.

I phoned Stewart and luckily he was at home. He could hear that something was wrong, I did not want to discuss my news with him over the phone. All I said was “ are you at home?” He said “yes”, I said, “I will be there in the next 30 minutes”
Arriving home, I took Stewart to the patio and broke the news to him. Thank goodness Stewart comes from a Medical background, his father was a Doctor, his Brother is a Doctor and he worked in the Medical Devices field for 12 years. He looked at me and said, “this is not a death sentence” I said, “you must decide right now, well today preferably if you want to stick around me through all of this” He laughed, can you believe he laughed at me and said “Off course, are you silly?” I then for the first time in a very long time burst into tears and sobbed for a good hour or so.

I then got up, washed my face, looked at myself in the mirror and made a decision that MS will be part of me; I will not be part of MS.

I am a 30-year-old male, with awesome support, great family and friends, Picasso my Jack Russell and Stewart! Life is worth this effort!

Today's Picture

Across the Bridge...
This is what a MS diagnosis do to you, you realize that you are on one side MS is the wooden bridge and you need to cross it.
November 2007
Sun City
South Africa